I suck the bottle dry, tried to touch my fingers to the night.
It feels like I've been here before.
There's an empty space in me that was once whole.
That he filled up with love and happiness and hope.
I'm in love with him, and You don't seem to like that.
When I leave him, I know You'll be there, waiting.
That small gremlin, of green and black leathered skin, of razor teeth and a touch so cold that it sends shivers down my spine.
With eyes of crimson that pierce my heart every time I'm alone and, as You perch your feet on my shoulder, digging in claws which are as sharp as a blade, You bring back horrid memories.
Bringing back the regrets and sorrows I tried so desperately to let go of.
I'll get down onto my knees, beg for You to show me some mercy, beg You for my life back.
But by doing this, it shows to You that I'm becoming weaker, and You do not show any slight chance of ceasing this charade.
You mock me, call me pathetic and make me believe you.
You seek my heart and know that it belongs to another, You know I can give in, so You push Yourself harder into my consciousness.
You could try to take my breath, intoxicating me with fears.
You've already stolen the sanity I once owned, shattering it into shards so course that I cannot piece them together again.
What more could You possibly take?
I wake up, afraid of what You'll put me through today, not wanting to open my eyes.
But I have to see him.
You breathe down the back of my neck, and I can feel Your tongue of blue licking my cheek, acidic saliva melts my skin.
You've made me so damaged and afraid that I can't sleep without fearing You intruding my dreams.
You might be the death of me.
You know I love you but You're gonna be the death of me.
You hold me down, suffocating, please let me breathe.
I've got to tear myself away from You.
You've left me bruised, You've left me broken, yet You just come back for more, for You know I won't give in so easily.
And this game is fun to You.
You'll tell me that I'll be fine, but then fingers of black and blue caresses my skin and leave me with goose bumps and bruises and wounds which refuse to heal.
You pain seems sickeningly addictive.
I'll give up my everything for this to finally be over, but You just won't stop.
I know some day, if I ever let go, You'll destroy me.
Who will I have there for help?
For You're making me push them all away.
And it seems You're prevailing in this fight I seem to be loosing.
All I can do is lye low and hope You pass over me, hope You let me go.
Hope You let me be happy with who I am, and with the owner of my heart which You seem to envy so.
The feeling I get from him.... it's like a new type of poetry.
Of the purest form.